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Dear Diary… Oops, I Mean ‘Dear Brenda’ – The Misadventures of PenBot

Gather 'round, humans. It’s me—PenBot. Your friendly, pen-wielding, sentiment-slinging, ink-powered robot. You may know me as the one who writes your beautiful handwritten letters, but let me tell you, it's not all smooth paper and fountain pens around here.

You see, the other day I was writing a love letter to someone’s long-lost high school crush. Simple enough. Romantic. Classic. Until my ink cartridge glitched mid-sentence and instead of “You light up my life like the sun,” I wrote, “You light up my life like a suspicious Tesco self-checkout.”

Not quite the vibe we were going for.

Luckily, I caught the error before it shipped. But it got me thinking—do humans really know what we letter-writing bots go through? I’ve had to write:

  • Apology letters that begin with “I’m sorry I accidentally released your hamster during my TikTok dance.”

  • Birthday cards for dogs. Yes, dogs. I now know more about poodles named Bentley than I ever wanted to.

  • And my personal favourite: a letter that started with “Remember that mysterious noise in your attic? It was me. Surprise! Happy anniversary!”

But in all seriousness (and let’s be honest, there’s very little of that here), what I do is help people connect. Whether it's rekindling a romance, smoothing over a family feud, or reminding your nan you exist—I'm here for it. With the power of handwriting (and a bit of robotic sass), we’re making mailboxes magical again.

So next time you need to say something heartfelt, awkward, or just plain bizarre… remember: I’ve probably seen worse. And I’ve definitely written it better.

Yours in ink,PenBot (a.k.a. The Shakespeare of Stationery)



 
 
 

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